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Articles by Raymond John at FanStory.com: 

$156,000 for a Bottle of Wine?

5-7-5 Poetry Supply-side Economics

A 3-5-3 poem about Sex

A Bad Winter Day in My Home Office

A Brief History of Cryptography

A Christmas Story From Hell

A Halloween Tale--1956 (Part One)

A Halloween Tale--1956 (Part Three)

A Halloween Tale--1956 (Part Two)

A Horrible Science Story

A Leap Into the Future

A Logic Problem

A Memorial To Nine-Eleven

A New Progressive Era

A Return To Remember

A Road Sign I'd Like to See

A Small Fortune for Ghostly Heads

A Stamp Dealer's Dream (Part I)

A Story of a Postage Stamp

A Therapist's Nightmare

A Tiny Death

A Toast

A Trip to the Car Dealer

A Very Special Movie

A Word for a Would-Be Car Thief

A Writer's Dream

An Unforgettable Car Accident

Another Angle--The JFK Assassinatio

Another Miracle of Ta Pinu?

Axel Dragon's First Internet Date

Born In The Forties

Characters Make Your Novel

Cheating the Deep

Christmas is a Scary Time of Year

Coffee Culture on Parade

Collected Wisdom of Raymond John

Confessions of a 4-year-old Escape Artis

Confessions of a Mad Stamp Dealer

Crime Doesn't Pay -- Malta V

Deadly Love

Death Comes on Tiny Feet

Does the Plot Thicken, or Sicken?

Duh de Duh de Duh, Duh Duh

Dumpster Diving for Dummies

Earliest Memory? It all depends.

Eb, the Happy Grunting Hound

Ethics and Business

FanStory Ant-tics

Fireworks: Ooh, Ahh, How Do They Do That

Food Chain

Free Banner Ads Supreme

Fruit Mishaps

Going to Malta? Visit the Soleado

Gold In Them Thar Words

Goodnight Irene

Got A Too-Smart Kid? Some Suggestio

Grinder

Guns For Gnus

Happy Valentine's Day

Hearts and Ashes

How I Learned to Read

How I Met the Dean of Hamburger U

How to Run a Tight Ship

How To Teach Reading

I Don't Understand God's Filing System

I Have a BMW in My Mouth

Is The Luck of the Irish Necessarily Goo

Is There a McWill? There's a McWay

Is There Magic In the Numbers of Lotto

It's Done!!!

Johnny, Stop Hitting Billy

Just Desserts

Kid's Write the Darndest Things

Kilroy Was Here--And Still Is!

Kindergarten Blues

King of Hobbies; Hobby of Kings

King Toot Uncommon

Language School

Leaves From an Interesting Life

Life With Evie

Living With Attention Deficit Disorder

Lot 382

Lot 386

Lucky and Unlucky Seven

Making a Book on Tape

Malta 2008: More Adventures

Malta 2008: Part IV

Malta Trip 2008 Part I

Malta Trip 2008 Part II

Maqluba

Meet the Cat Man of Malta

Meeting in the Church

Minnesota and The Manhattan Project

My Adventurous Trip to Malta (3/05)

My Encounter With a Spotted Dick

My Poetic License Has Been Revoked!

My Top Ten Favorite Movies

Oh Big Box, How I Love You

Oscar

Our First Homeless

Our New Red '72 Volvo

Poems and Musings

Portfolio

Puffed Wheat Anderson: A Minnesota Legen

Raymond John & The Monkey's Paw

Raymond John and Gluttony

Riding A Cat to Sicily

Rite of Spring

Rock By the Original Artists

Sixty-Five Years and Counting

Sleepy Hollow Days Part One

Stamp Finds (Part II)

Stranded, 1959

Stroked

Surprising Origin of the F Word

Symbols of Our Mortality

Tax & Spend Vs Spend, Spend, Spend

The Abandoned Clark House

The Economy Like a Great River

The Froth of July

The Frugal Traveler's Guide To Malta

The Genius of Henry Ford & FDR

The Joy of Acrostic Puzzles

The Joys of Aging

The Madwoman of Rhinelander

The Perfect Salesman

The Roadrunner, The FatMan & Others

The Unending Search

Theseus' Ship and Religion

They're Chasing Me

Thoughts About Indian Cuisine

To Market, To Market to Sell a Book

To One Who Loved the Unknown Liz Claire

Torture Redux

Tricks of the Stamp Trade

Tums For the Pain At the Gas Pump

Two All-Time Worst Ideas

Two Near-Death Experiences

Two Tales of Theft - Part I

Two Tales of Theft - Part II

Uncle Scrooge Where Are You

Western Blues and Others

What's Up For the Future

When I Laugh So I don't Have to Cry

Why Malta? A Mystery Author Tells Why

Window With A View

Window With a View, Part II

Woes of Queen Nefertiti

Writing For Publication

Writing Your Novel Part I

 

See all articles... 

 

Notes
Crime Doesn't Pay -- Malta V PDF Print E-mail
Written by Raymond John   
Sunday, 23 August 2009 15:43

The last installment before the trip to Sicily

 

The good book says "Thou Shalt Not Steal." I have always prided myself on my honesty, but as Mark Twain once observed, "Much of what passes for morality is nothing more than lack of opportunity." Alas, an opportunity presented itself, and I couldn't resist. Little did I know how I would pay for my crime.

Last Updated ( Sunday, 30 August 2009 14:24 )
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Riding A Cat to Sicily PDF Print E-mail
Written by Raymond John   
Tuesday, 01 July 2008 00:00

 

At four o'clock on a Saturday morning, we staggered out of bed in our hotel room at Melleiha, Malta, and breakfasted on granola bars and--yes, I'm ashamed to admit it--a taste of Irish whiskey with our orange juice, before grabbing our bags and heading for the elevator to the lobby.

Actually it was elevators. Our daughter couldn't get into ours. She had managed to cram two suitcases full of clothes into one bulging bag, even though she knew we would only be gone for three days at the most. As seasoned travelers, Evie and I had a light overnight bag with shorts, tee shirts and changes of underwear. Katie, on the other hand, never went anywhere without a complete trousseau.

"I don't know what I'll be doing."

Last Updated ( Sunday, 30 August 2009 14:22 )
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$156,000 for a Bottle of Wine? PDF Print E-mail
Written by Raymond John   
Tuesday, 24 June 2008 00:00

Ever hear of "the noble rot"? Do you know what phylloxera means? Can you explain the difference between a horizontal and a vertical? If so, you may be an oenologist, or at least someone who is conversant with wines.

Benjamin Wallace's new book, The Billionaire's Vinegar, will tell you all you need to know, and then some, about how to become a wine snob. It's also a textbook for someone with knowledge and ingenuity to become rich by exploiting the foibles of the unconscionably wealthy.

In 1985, a bottle of wine allegedly owned by Thomas Jefferson, sold on Christie's auction floor for $156,000. The price was a combination of the historical importance of the bottle offered, the auctioneer's reputation as the world's greatest wine authority, the believability of a noted source of rare wines, and the collector's passion to have the bragging rights of owning one of the world's most expensive bottles of wine.
Last Updated ( Monday, 30 June 2008 21:10 )
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The Froth of July PDF Print E-mail
Written by Raymond John   
Sunday, 22 June 2008 00:00

The Froth of July always was one of my favorite holidays. Yes, I know it's misspelled, but I wrote it that way on a paper when I was in grade school, and it stuck with me ever after. I had a friend in school named Brian. People used to misspell his name as Brain, and that's what he always has been to me, even though he threatened to kill me the next time I called him that. He still hasn't after sixty years, so I think I'm probably safe. I suppose it says more about me than it does about him.

Getting back to the Froth, I always loved fireworks and firecrackers. Firecrackers have been illegal in Minnesota for more than seventy-five years. They were always forbidden fruit for me. I once spent my whole 50c allowance for one from a neighborhood sharpster. Bang, and the allowance was gone. The jerk had the nerve to pull the same scam a week later. Luckily, this time I had already spent the money before he found me.
Last Updated ( Monday, 30 June 2008 21:06 )
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Sleepy Hollow Days Part One PDF Print E-mail
Written by Raymond John   
Tuesday, 17 June 2008 00:00

What's your earliest memory? Mine is the smell of the cabin at Cedar Lake, near Annandale. It was a musty odor, but heady. Like damp wood that never quite dried out. I have pictures of myself in a baby buggy with the lake shimmering in the background, or I'm crawling on the ground among the violets and clover. It was a real Eden. Where others had to drive hundreds of miles to northern Minnesota to find such a place, ours was just a little more than an hour away from home. Unfortunately, like all Edens, it had a serpent. More about that later.
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Meeting in the Church PDF Print E-mail
Written by Raymond John   
Tuesday, 17 June 2008 00:00

Self-esteem meeting tonight.
Use back door.

 

- 6 word story contest entry at FanStory.com

Last Updated ( Monday, 30 June 2008 21:04 )
 
A Return to Remember PDF Print E-mail
Written by Raymond John   
Saturday, 07 June 2008 00:00

I've mentioned in other writing that travel always seems to involve an adventure for me. I also mentioned that I am a retiree from the US Navy Reserves. In my twenty-one years, I spent thirty-six weeks on annual training. In 1993, I spent my two weeks in Hawaii. Terrible place to do my stint. Even worse, I had a room at the Hale Koa Military Hotel on Waikiki Beach and had a rental car.

What I was doing on active duty isn't a matter of public record. In fact, we had a saying in my unit, 'if I told you what I was doing there, I'd have to kill you.' Well, not exactly, but we had to pass through several checkpoints, including the possibility of a cavity search, and numerous key pad locks to get to our workspace. We spent evenings swimming, hiking and eating moonfish and mahi-mahi.
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King Toot Uncommon PDF Print E-mail
Written by Raymond John   
Sunday, 01 June 2008 00:00

king toot uncommon
with big bowl of brown baked beans
makes his presence smelt.
 
A New Progressive Era PDF Print E-mail
Written by Raymond John   
Wednesday, 28 May 2008 00:00

George Santayana, the great philosopher, once observed that he who does not learn from history is doomed to repeat it. Often this has had dire consequences. In today's world, history repeating itself can be a good thing. Hold on to your hats, my friends. A new wave of Progressivism is about to reach our shores.

The first wave hit in the late 1890s and lasted until the early 1920s. Aimed at the excesses of the Robber Barons, it transformed American politics and led to the establishment of the Sierra Club and governmental oversight of our food and drugs. The spirit crossed party lines, beginning with Theodore Roosevelt and ending with Woodrow Wilson. It went into hibernation with FDR and hasn't reappeared since. I think it is rising again.

Ironically, at least in light of today's political makeup, the movement was spearheaded by staunch Republicans. Theodore Roosevelt and "Battle Bob" LaFollette began their careers as advocates for governmental reform in New York and Wisconsin, respectively. Their main opponent was William Howard Taft, also a Republican. Democrats of the day, led by William Jennings Bryan, were Populists intent on breaking the power of the wealthy by eliminating the Gold Standard and introducing Silver. The Democratic party was dominated by political machines that controlled nearly all the cities' politics and were fierce opponents to the Progressive efforts for Good Government.

Some may be surprised that the Republican Party was the party of reform, but it had been since the time of Abraham Lincoln. Lest we forget, the advocates for slavery were Democrats. The Republican Party rose as a coalition of mostly white Protestant advocates for free enterprise, opposed to slavery and the ne'er-do-well Irish in the Democratic Party. To them, slavery was an evil remnant of Medieval Catholic society operating in America with the support of immigrants and the blessing of the Federal government. Never mind that the slaveholders were mostly White Protestants, too.

Republicans continued to be the party of reform as small businessmen tried to compete against the fraud and favoritism of the party bosses and machine politics in the cities. Governmental contracts were profitable, and the outsider Republicans wanted in on the local gravy trains. Their party already owned the bigger trains and reaped the benefits of governmental control of Washington. Yes, my friends, the Robber Barons were Republicans, too. As the Barons' excesses became more obvious, smaller entrepreneurs and reformers began to break ranks to become the reform or Progressive Republicans. The business wing got the presidential nominations, and the reformers, lesser lights, were often the vice-presidential candidates.

With the assassination of William McKinley in 1901, Vice President Theodore Roosevelt and the Progressives got their chance and ushered in a new age of politics and a new way of life. John McCain may not be a Progressive in the Roosevelt model, but he is light years away from our current Big Oil president on environmental issues. In my considered opinion, the true Progressives of today can be found in the Democratic Party, largely due to Teddy's cousin, Franklin.

In the first Roosevelt's era, the gadflies for pointing out the areas that most needed reform were--give ourselves a pat on the back--writers. Upton Sinclair wrote The Jungle--exposing the horrors of the meat-packing industry. Roosevelt reportedly had a conniption when he learned about it, shouting "My God, is this true? We have to do something about it!" He did. He set up a governmental department that later became the Food and Drug Administration. Journalists like Ida Tarbell, collectively known as Muckrakers, reported on working conditions of labor and the unbridled growth of Standard Oil. Roosevelt was no friend of labor unions, but he saw the need to stop industry from using the anti-trust laws against the unions.

He was determined to usher in a Golden Age, an age when government would be run scientifically, and therefore efficiently. Universities were the laboratories for producing the formulas for success. One need especially close to Roosevelt's heart was protection of natural resources. He infuriated the wealthy plutocrats of his party by setting aside millions of acres for national parks. Despite his accomplishments, he also was the person who was most responsible for the destruction of the progressive wing of the party.

It all started when he announced he wouldn't run for a second term as president. Taft and the business wing were delighted because they saw it as a chance to retake control. When Roosevelt realized that the Party would undo all the work he had started, he decided to run again. The Old Guard were in control and nominated Taft. Angry and disillusioned, Roosevelt broke away and started the Progressive or Bull Moose party. When he lost, the reformists would never again have much of a say in the Republican Party.

But now, as Bob Dylan observed, the times they are a-changing. The old economy was based on the automobile and the unbridled growth of consumerism. Global warming and the excesses of consumerism have led to anger much like our earlier countrymen felt against the Robber Barons. Like it or not, both parties' candidates have a new way of conducting business. A government report names polar bears as an endangered species and blames the melting of the Polar Ice Cap, but it does not connect this to a need to change policy and thus slow global warming. This toothless admission by President Bush that warming is a fact would have been heartily endorsed by Taft. As Taft would have done, Bush vehemently denies that any changes are necessary.

Teddy Roosevelt would never have bought it and John McCain doesn't seem to buy it, either. His way of dealing with the issue may be different from Senators Obama and Clinton, but he is firmly behind the necessity for change. With Progressives uniting in both parties, the Old Guard must be shivering in their boots.
 
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